Pass Me a Slice of Wedding Cake

In a couple hours gay marriage will be legal in California. Unlike most conservatives, I just have to say Mazel Tov.

Here’s where the libertarian in me comes out. I just don’t believe the government should be involved in issuing marriage licenses at all.

When my husband and I got married, in a church, we had the religious ceremony and the certificate we filed with the State of California. Two separate events. That state issued piece of paper means nothing. It was committing ourselves to one another, before God, our friends and family that had meaning. Having to get a certificate of marriage was just an additional pain-in-the-ass thing to do before the wedding.

I don't see how if the government issues me a certificate to marry a man, they can't issues Bill a certificate to marry a man. So Bill will be eligible for Sam's social security benefits. Wow. That hurt me and my marriage. Not really. But, then again, I don't believe in Social Security so that's probably a bad example.

At the end of the day, I believe that the government should confine itself to doing the least amount of harm possible. Police, Fire and Roads. I suggest that they start by paving the street in front of my daughter’s school.

But really, when it comes to the sanctity of marriage, heterosexuals have damaged the “sanctity” of it all by ourselves. When so many marriages end in divorce, who are we to take the higher ground on who can and cannot get married?

The divorce rate in America for first marriage is 41%
The divorce rate in America for second marriage is 60%
The divorce rate in America for third marriage is 73%

A more shocking, and sad, statistic comes from the US Census, which notes that between 1990-1994 only one in 10 black children conceived before marriage are born in wedded bliss.

For Black women under age 30, the percentage of first births either born or conceived before first marriage doubled from 43 percent during the 1930-34 period to 86 percent during 1990-94 (Table 2). In both periods, the majority of premaritally conceived first births to Black women were born out of wedlock. Only one in 10 Black women who had a premaritally conceived birth in 1990-94 was married by the time of the child's birth compared to one-quarter of these births in the 1930s (Figure 4).

And then there is my Westside family to consider: the Queen of 20st Century Fox has been married five times; Black Fox alum Dad has been married three. Grandpa was married three times, and grandma at least three, if not more. Other grandma had a long-term affair with a married man. Big brother’s been married twice, little sister just got divorced. Big sister is married 20+ years, a record for our clan. And, my other little sister refuses to get married to her longtime boyfriend before gays can … waiting for the invitation now!

Personally, I think my family has done more to harm my marriage than any gay marriage ever will. As for me, darling hubby and I are at 10.5 years and counting!